I woke up in the morning and checked my email.  I discovered very disturbing news.  Madonna's kids may have lice.  I pictured Christopher Columbus landing on an island he figured was like, you know China.  He is standing on a beach and imagining his homeland way across there and thinking about how some day kids will get a day out of school to celebrate his amazing "discovery."  Although he doesn't imagine Howard Zinn.  He's also pleased he got an Iphone

just before he left.  He holds up the phone and circles around until he gets the maximum bars.  And shit suddenly his ringtone.  He's pleased that guy they ran into on the dock just before they left gave him a Greensleeves tone.  It's nice.  Ah, caller ID its Queen Isabel.  Before he can even rave about the new world, she starts telling him about the head lice.  Way to put a damper on his moment.

Oh, right and the Democratic Party was once more obliterated, which means at least we don't have to worry about climate change anymore.  And I can just enjoy the sunset years of my life and the American empire without guilt.

It is also strange that I can log on to a weather site and know exactly how much rain fell in Portland within the last hour.  And with web cams see what is happening in "real time" at Pioneer Place.  And another oddity.  I have on my Iphone a KGW-TV local news application.  I surveyed the headlines.  There were 20 items.  13 of those were about murders, mayhem, corruption, other crimes.  Oh right, and Grant High School principle is canceling Toga days.  And we wonder why travelers worry about traveling in America.

I know I have told many people about this brilliant comedic sketch but just in case, Everything is Amazing but no one is happy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk