Let's start first with the young and the young.  That's natural enough, right?  You're in college or in your twenties and end up shacking up with a swinging Thai girl your age at one of the rave full moon parties, as they call the parties that last for days on end, on Thai islands.  Or maybe you even pre-met on Facebook through a swarm.  That's cool.  That's global.  Natural to digital natives as getting a mail order bride on the American frontier. 

Then there's the young nerd or Geek kid who grew up on a tiny gene pool Midwestern town or who couldn't stand a chance of getting a desirable female.  Maybe dreamt of becoming Bill Gates.  Or well to be more current, dreamt of being the next Mark Zuckerberg.  Maybe he's also figured coming to Thailand he could move up the glamour ladder, or maybe he just volunteered to work for an NGO and never thought about it until he arrived and for the first time in his life attractive women actually flirted with him.  Given the importance in our society of snaring an attractive woman you can hardly blame him.  The hormonal drive is there.  Its like we are still birds of paradise with elaborate mating rituals but think its about more than procreation. 

When I was a teenager I lived in Japan for six months and that is exactly what happened to me.  It was 1962.  You know Camelot days, Bay of Pigs, Kesey was taking LSD and Martin Luther King was writing his "I have a dream speech."  Just before I left for Japan I was set up on a blind date.  When I walked into the blind date's house she took one look at me and shouted, "No way am I seeing in public with him," and went back to her bedroom.  In Japan, gaggles of girls followed me around signing a popular rock and roll song, "Kawaii Baby" (cute baby) because I looked like the American boy on the cover of the 45 rpm. So I sympathize with these geeks and their love for Thai girls.

Then there are complicated ones.  When I arrived on Somet Island last week the first Euro-American looking person I saw was a man about my age basking in the sun.  I asked him where there was a grocery store and got into a conversation.  He was German, a retired civil engineer whose wife had died several years before.  He had come to Thailand after he retired and met a Thai masseuse whose specialty was lower back and arthritis.  She gave him the first relief from pain he had for years.  He now called her his girl friend.  She continued to live in southern Thailand and he in Germany.  Her husband and had abandoned her with a small child, a child who was now 13.  He supported them.  He paid for the girl to go to a private boarding school.  Later I saw them walking down the beach.  The young girl was lagging behind he and his girl friend.  She looked up and shouted, "Papa, wait up," and ran up and put her arms around him.   You can dig below the surface not far to realize this has colonial causes.  His ability to help his girl friend and her daughter is based on generations of colonial power.  But, he seemed decent and sincere.  His girl friend gave him relief from his debilitating pain; he provided a way out from a single woman and her child. 

Then there is the ugly side of things.  And, I'm not talking about the truly insidious slavery and prostitution but just the scenario of a bloke who takes advantage of the colonial history of the planet.   I watched one "couple," waiting for a speedboat to return them to the mainland.  He was probably in his fifties, she was in her low twenties.  She looked a little like the Thai equivalent of the women with a dragon tattoo.  She was wearing her loot: designer bag is what stood out.  Probably worth what some people earn in a year.  She looked bored. 

  I could imagine her having discussions with her friends earlier as they traded information about how to score.   Like bird watchers.  Where are the haunting grounds?  How to determine who is looking.  What fashion indicators.  Talk about an elaborate Birds of Paradise mating ritual.

    And, while I'm never good at assessing male beauty, he did not have it.  Overweight, double chinned, a left hanging lip, botchy skin.  What did she think when they got in bed together, or how did she imagine her way out of the situation?  Every moment measured by one more bag or pair of shoes?   They barely said anything to each other.  Now and then he bent toward her and smiled.  But one thing he did often was stare down at her perfect brown leg and thigh and then stroke it.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Its smooth.  Its young and its all mine.

    Another one similar to this was out and out sleazy.  There was a similar ugly bloke in the surf,  a young Thai women near by.  Definitely young enough to be his daughter.  I didn't think much of it until as a wave broke he came up behind her and literally humped her.  It was like watching a walrus land graceful fish.

    Then there is the ugly side of things.  And, I'm not talking about the truly insidious slavery and prostitution but just the scenario of a bloke who takes advantage of the colonial history of the planet.   I watched one "couple," waiting for a speedboat to return them to the mainland.  He was probably in his fifties, she was in her low twenties.  She looked a little like the Thai equivalent of the women with a dragon tattoo.  She was wearing her loot: designer bag is what stood out.  Probably worth what some people earn in a year.  She looked bored.  I could imagine her having discussions with her friends earlier as they traded information about how to score.   Like bird watchers.  Where are the haunting grounds?  How to determine who is looking.  What fashion indicators.  Talk about an elaborate Birds of Paradise mating ritual.  And, while I'm never good at assessing male beauty, he did not have it.  Overweight, double chinned, a left hanging lip, botchy skin.  What did she think when they got in bed together, or how did she imagine her way out of the situation?  Every moment measured by one more bag or pair of shoes?   They barely said anything to each other.  Now and then he bent toward her and smiled.  But one thing he did often was stare down at her perfect brown leg and thigh and then stroke it.  Back and forth.  Back and forth.  Its smooth.  Its young and its all mine.

Another one similar to this was out and out sleazy.  There was a similar ugly bloke in the surf,  a young Thai women near by.  Definitely young enough to be his daughter.  I didn't think much of it until as a wave broke he came up behind her and literally humped her.  It was like watching a walrus land graceful fish.